Well, if you need to sort it out, do it when friends are near. Say, in another or something. That way neither of you can storm off and claim the other did something that they didn’t.

I know that feeling, anon. So my advice would be to get friends in on this. Have them do an intervention without you there, something along the lines of “This is not acceptable behavior, you need to stop”. That should smooth things out/

Well, I can understand that confusion. Being drunk removes you inhibitions, you either says things that you’e been holding back, or you say things spur of the moment. What I would is for you to privately (and gently) ask her about, and see where that leads. If she says it was just a drunk thing, let it go. It’ll be heartbreaking, but if that’s what she wants, let her.

Honestly, talk to her about it. It’s not healthy to just stop eating. I know that I get depressed (not about what she’s depressed) and there are times that I get so depressed that I just don’t have the will or energy to actually get up and eat, but I force myself to get up and at least get something in me. Eating something is better than nothing, but tell her that in a way that will make her feel comfortable. You know her better than I do, so I can’t tell you exactly what you should say :x

Also, tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she says that she’s fat because she’s not and it’s making you feel insecure/uncomfortable/etc. Also talk to her about her eating habits and ask her to go into as much detail as she feels comfortable with. I know that there’s a minimal amount of calories that a person is suposed to eat a day, but many people go over that. (Note: I do not recommend eating the bare minimal amount of calories as it’s not actually all that healthy and your body will start to break down after a while »;)

I assume that you’re talking dress sizes and, if so, I’m the same size as her and I can already tell you that being that size, and if she’s fat, that make me fat, and I am far from fat :/ And, being a ten/twelve doesn’t mean that you’re fat, either.

As far as self harm, I’m not experienced in that too much. But, my suggestion is that, whenever you get that urge, go do something creative. Draw, write, dance, hang out with people, play video games, etc. Do something to get your mind off of it.

And try and talk to your friends about cutting. Be really cautious about it though. You don’t wanna say something that might trigger them or hurt them, so don’t be to confrontational or pressure them or something. Sometimes, people just want to be heard or want to have a shoulder to cry on or to talk to.

There’s also that thing where you draw a butterfly on your wrist and name it after someone you love (friends, family, your s/o) and it becomes significant. It’s suposed to be a constructive thing to keep you from cutting. It works with some people and not others because of whatever reason. That’s not something I’m completely familiar with but I know about it. I now that doing a bit more research with provide more information, but that’s the general gist of what it is.

If you need more help, don’t be afraid to ask. Ethan and I will try our best to help you out, but I have more knowledge and experience with EDs, so I’ll probably be the one to answer those.

- Chase

Part 2: I feel like I need to try to smooth things over, at least a bit, since we run in the same circle, but there are all of these built up negative feelings and insecurities towards me because she feared this for the last three years and now it’s happened, and I know it’s easier to hate me than my fiance. Should I try to talk to her and, if so, what should I say? I know we did nothing wrong but her ex clearly feels like we did, just by starting to date one another and now getting engaged.

—

Hrm…

I feel like there are a few options, here.

First being that you and your fiance’s ex (you can have your fiance there, too, if you’d like or if they insist or if it’ll help) sit and have a civil talk about what they’re upset/angry/whatever about and see if there’s any way to resolve their feelings.

Second is to let them know that you don’t appreciate the fact that they’re just being a bit antagonistic and jealous and that they should calm down or that you’ll just break ties with them. Though, try not to come off too confrontational because you don’t really want a fight, or at least a big fight if you can help things.

Third is to just ignore them and cut ties. This is probably a bit more drastic, but this would be a last ditch effort. If they’re not going to be cooperative, it’s best to just cut ties and go about your business.

Sorry if this isn’t everything, but this is just what I could think of for the time being. I could prob’ly think of a few more things, but it generally goes back to these. And I’m sorry for the wording :x

- Chase

Stay with the sure shot, anon. It’s normal to have lingering feelings for people, that’s alright, if you could talk it out with the person it’d be better, but it doesn’t sound like you can. So, I’d confide with a close friend to get it off your chest, and for them to offer advice.

Any and all advice you need we’ll try and help you out. And if Ethan and I cannot help, we’ll point you to someone that can :3

irisundone:

Ah, still, don’t always trust yourself to self diagnose, it’ll just makes you worry and come to conclusions that you don’t like. That’d pretty much why I don’t go on Wiki or WebMD or whatever when I’m sick or when I think I’ve got some mental things going on because I’ll freak out and be a bit paranoid >.>;

But, honestly, it could just be that you’re generally socially awkward or you might have some social anxiety or something, but there are tons of other people who are in the same situation, if that’s true, that don’t have things such as aspergers. So don’t be to hard on yourself.

And that’s fine, I know plenty of people (myself included) that are in no position to go to the doctor X.x; But, if you have the fortune to go one day in the future, you could bring up any concerns that you have to the doctor.

irisundone:

No, no, that’s completely fine, Annon. Though, don’t be so quick to judge, if you’d like to know if you have something, you can always go to the doctors or someplace where someone can diagnose you. People have easy access to things like Wikipedia and WebMD and self diagnose.

But, just because you’re socially awkward in certain situations or most of the time doesn’t mean that you have one thing or another. I get really anxious over certain things and I get pretty anxious in certain social situations though I try my best to not show it. And I get pretty awkward around people if I have no idea who they are.

I have a few people that are diagnosed with aspergers and they are fully functioning and really awesome people but they don’t let it stop them and they are completely fine with having aspergers.

But it’s fine, I know people who think that they might have one thing and freak out. Don’t take it too seriously unless you are professionally diagnosed, alright Annon?

And sorry if I went off topic and/or was a bit of an ass(?) >///>;;;

irisundone:

;n; Annon, don’t feel that you’re the only one going through things that are tough. There are plenty of people that love you, I’m sure! And, though I don’t know who you are as you’re Annon, I still appreciate you as a friend!

But don’t get too down, I’ve been through shit and I’m sure that there are other people that have gone through shit too. Some are just more open about it than others. Though I sadly know that feeling, though not too well.

I’m sure whatever it is can be resolved. *hugs tightly* As long as you don’t do anything drastic, you’ll be fine, alright? Just stick through it and if you need to, you can message me on here unannon’d or on Skype (chasechan2050) or where ever you feel most comfortable and I’ll keep whatever it is just between us, alright Annon?